“When I was in high school I got teased a lot for being ugly. It started with just one popular girl she and her couple friends were calling me ugly and making fun of how messed up my face was. She threatened to beat me up and I made some comment saying “yeah right small asian girl is not gonna beat me up” to her. Anyways bc of that comment she told everyone I was racist and hated everyone who wasnt white and I went to a very diverse high school so after that everyone hated me. They just attacked me for my appearance. Her bf said my face looked like someone who was on meth and after that literally everyone started calling me “meth girl.” This dude stole my dance journal when I got it back it had the word meth written all over it. And this other person i dont know posted this video about me on youtube a rap about me being on meth. He uploaded it to 3 different youtube accounts. I also had some girls get together and make me a video on facebook where they went through my photos and laughed at how ugly i was and pointed out my flaws also one girl ate food and was like hey b*tch this is food you should try it some time cuz im really skinny i guess. People didnt know but right before I got bullied so bad I struggled with anorexia and had to be hospitalized and put on a feeding tube bc i was so ill. At the time I tried really hard to be pretty I would wake up every morning early to put on make up, straighten my hair, put in my clip in hair extensions, put in color contacts in attempt to make myself look pretty and I still got bullied tons for being ugly. I had a total of 6 hate videos made about me calling me ugly, stupid, worthless, pointing out i was weird and had no friends. Also this dude wrote a blog on my schools gossip website saying i was hideous and should kill myself. A lot of other horrible things happened too but I don’t feel like typing the rest all out…”
It’s been two years since all this happened my senior year of high school. I’m going into my junior year of college soon. But I never stopped feeling worthless about myself. I’m embarassed and ashamed of myself. I skipped so many classes just bc I was too embarassed to show my face in public. I don’t know what to do, I’ve already been to therapy but it didn’t help me. I’m still angry at the people who bullied me and I’m still embarrassed to go out in public cuz I feel ugly and inadequate.
Like many other stories this one touches my heart like many others. I feel the pain and suffering the girl has endured for one small slip up. It’s funny how no matter how many good things you do, that one mistake you make, you will always be remembered for. I believe if she had one person reach out to her and gave her hope, she would be able to overcome her fear of being judged in public. It’s hard for the other kids to not join in for the fear of being different and independent minded. Many kids just follow the motions of one popular kid or bully that seems to be popular. Most kids that linger with that popular child is because the fear of being judged and to gain popularity for others to see that persons successes and perfections. I know it’s hard to say you can’t do anything but talk to her and let her know her worth value is greater and/or equal to others, but that is the best you can do until you stand up for yourself. I know it’s hard for kids to do that, but strength is in numbers if you spread the awareness. I wish you luck heather and that you find that special someone or group of friends to show you that you are special and beautiful. You are a swan that has been covered in the brush and need to be seen. So spread your wings, soar the sky showing your magnificent beauty to the world, and be the envy of the sky.
~ Winged Wolf